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Subjunctive KoL: KingdomCalendar
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This page covers the KoL calendar system. I originally began this page in hopes that the appearance of the SpectralPickleFactory was related to the day; it looks like it's not, but it's still useful to have a complete calendar.
Important note: Dates listed here on the calendar refer to the date if you are on Eastern Standard Time. For different time zones, a KoL day may begin before the day listed on the calendar. For instance, I live in the Pacific time zone, so first Halloween for me began at 9pm on 11/16/04. Nevertheless, most of that Halloween was on 11/17/04, so that's the date listed in the table.
Each KoL "month" covers 8 days, which is one full cycle of Ronald's moons. There are 12 months (and hence 96 days) in a KoL year.
The moon cycles go as follows (+ indicates waxing, - indicates waning). Odd months are the 1st, 3rd, 5th, etc. months of the KoL calendar, and even months are the 2nd, 4th, 6th, etc.:
| month | moon | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | 4th | 5th | 6th | 7th | 8th |
| odd | Ronald | new | 1/4+ | 1/2+ | 3/4+ | full | 3/4- | 1/2- | 1/4- |
| Grimace | new | new | 1/4+ | 1/4+ | 1/2+ | 1/2+ | 3/4+ | 3/4+ |
| even | Ronald | new | 1/4+ | 1/2+ | 3/4+ | full | 3/4- | 1/2- | 1/4- |
| Grimace | full | full | 3/4- | 3/4- | 1/2- | 1/2- | 1/4- | 1/4- |
Note that the moons wax and wane in the opposite direction from Earth's real moon, at least as viewed from the Northern Hemisphere.
Holidays in KoL: While at first KoL holidays appeared on the dates of real holidays, Jick has also created several holidays which appear at recurring dates on the KoL calendar. There are currently six recurring holidays, five of which are tied to the Kingdom calendar.
- Crimbo -- December 25 (real calendar). On this day, Jick has handed out presents to the KoL populace. See CrimboPresents for more details.
- Festival of Jarlsberg -- Jarlsuary 1 (KoL calendar). On this day, mystical energy fills the Kingdom, with various interesting effects.
- Valentine's Day -- Frankruary 4 (KoL calendar) and February 14 (real calendar). On Valentine's Day, you can buy Valentines in the Gift Shop for 500 Meat and send them to people. Valentine's Day 2006 (the real one) also saw the introduction of five new Valentine's-themed items in the Gift Shop which could also be bought then. Those items then reappeared on subsequent Kingdom Valentine's Days. Valentine's Day 2007 (again, the real one) saw the introduction of four new Valentine's items; it's unclear whether these are permanent for 2007.
- Easter -- April 2 (KoL calendar) and Easter (real calendar). On this day, you can buy an oyster basket and go hunting around the Kingdom for Oyster eggs. Each oyster egg (there are 32 in all) has a different effect. See EasterSpoilers for full details.
- El Dia De Los Muertos Borrachos -- Martinus 2 (KoL calendar). On this day, the spirits of various deceased people haunt the Kingdom, and you can fight them to obtain new and intriguing types of alcohol.
- Dependence Day -- Bor 4 (KoL calendar) or July 5 (real calendar). On this day, you can buy fireworks at the market, and then set them off for exciting beneficial effects. Alas, you can only use one during the day, and none at all when it's not Dependence Day. This holiday also happened July 5, 2007; it's unclear whether this is deliberate or whether the powers that be just forgot to push the button on the 4th.
- Feast of Boris -- Boozember 7 (KoL calendar). On this suspiciously Thanksgiving-like holiday, you can eat twice as much as normal. Cranberries also have increased potency; eating them yields 2-4 adventures rather than the normal 1. For more information, see FeastOfBoris. The Feast of Boris did not appear on Thanksgiving 2005 in the real calendar; it is unclear whether this is an oversight or deliberate.
- Halloween -- Porktober 8 (KoL calendar) and October 31 (real calendar). On this day, you can wear outfits and go trick-or-treating around Seaside Town. See HalloweenSpoilers for full details.
- St. Sneaky Pete's Day -- Starch 3 (KoL calendar) and March 17 (real calendar). On this day, you can brew up special green beer, with which you can drink past your normal drunkenness into special exciting drunken stupors. See StSneakyPete for details. NOTE: The first two St. Sneaky Pete's Days fell on Jarlsuary 8 (the first one was on the real St. Patrick's Day, and the second one followed it), but its permanent home (starting October 6, 2005) is Starch 3.
In 2006, Starch 3 happened to fall on April 16, which was the real-life Easter. Consequently, a hybrid holiday, "St. Sneaky Pete's Oyster Day" was created. See StSneakyPeteOysterDay for details.
There are also some special one-time events which aren't quite "holidays".
- On Valentine's Day 2003, Jick handed out free heart-shaped moxie weeds to everyone.
- On St. Patrick's Day 2004, Jick handed out free ten-leaf clovers to everyone.
- April Fool's Day has also been the subject of several jokes:
- In 2005, the SpectralPickleFactory appeared on the map, but couldn't be clicked on; "tasteful and unobtrusive advertisements" were added, appearing in the character pane and during combat; and an especially worthless-looking special familiar, the emo roe, appeared in the Mr. Store. All of these things vanished on April 2.
- In 2006, all attempts to log in to the Kingdom redirected to a fake domain,
![[WWW]](moin-www.gif)
site-pimp.com. A variety of amusing links appeared in the listings; clicking on any of them would redirect you to the Kingdom. The Spectral Pickle Factory appeared again and couldn't be clicked on, but you could visit the factory by clicking on its normal (vacant-appearing) location. Finally, the ultra-rare adventures appeared much more frequently, but on defeating the monster, a "SQL error" would appear and you would get nothing.
- In 2007, a "special preview of NS13 content" was displayed here, containing many horrifying-looking gameplay changes. The Traveling Trader reappeared and offered an exceptionally useless-looking familiar, the O. A. F., for 100 twinkly wads. Lastly, summoning snowcones gave you yellow snowcones, while summoning hilarious items gave you normal snowcones. (Also, the text hinted that the bad penguin egg would be a one-day familiar like the emo roe, but it was a normal familiar-of-the-month.)
- On Talk Like A Pirate Day 2005 (September 19), people who talked like a pirate in chat received a pirate hook the next day.
- On January 13, 2006, which was Friday the 13th, Jick added some Friday the 13th content. Sometimes, after battle, you would receive a message that something "unlucky" had happened. As far as anyone can tell, these messages don't have any actual effect, but they are alarming.
- On Groundhog Day (February 2, 2006), the Nearby Plains were filled with groundhogs occasionally popping out of the ground.
- On Talk Like A Pirate Day 2006 (September 19), all of the pirates in the Obligatory Pirate's Cove dropped an additional item, a can of Binarrrca. Using this item would give you the Talking Like a Pirate effect, which would add piratical interjections like "Arrr." or "Avast ye!" in chat. In 2007, the same thing happened on September 19, and indeed the holiday was also extended to September 20 due to late rollout.
Finally, there have been a couple of unplanned events which also had significant impacts on the KoL community:
- August 8, 2004 saw the widespread exploitation of infinite meat and item duplication bugs, leading to a huge influx of meat into the Kingdom known as "Black Sunday". A large amount of content was introduced into the Kingdom in the ensuing months in an attempt to drain this meat out of the Kingdom. See Trog Dor's history for more details.
- On rollover the night of October 25, 2005, Jick accidentally deleted the database while preparing for backing it up. The database was restored from an older backup, but many people suffered item loss. Jick introduced also quite a bit of new content to make up for his error. See TemporalRifts for details.
Here's a guide to translate KoL time into real time. All dates in the future are projected (obviously). (o) indicates odd months and (e) indicates even months. See also the Noblesse Oblige Kingdom of Loathing calendar for a much niftier presentation of this information.
| | KoL Year (SISC) |
| KoL Date | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| Jarlsuary 1 (o) | 8/30/04 | 12/4/04 | 3/10/05 | 6/14/05 | 9/18/05 | 12/23/05 | 3/29/06 | 7/3/06 | 10/7/06 | 1/11/07 | 4/17/07 | 7/22/07 | 10/26/07 | 1/30/08 |
| Frankruary 1 (e) | 9/7/04 | 12/12/04 | 3/18/05 | 6/22/05 | 9/26/05 | 12/31/05 | 4/6/06 | 7/11/06 | 10/15/06 | 1/19/07 | 4/25/07 | 7/30/07 | 11/3/07 | 2/7/08 |
| Starch 1 (o) | 9/15/04 | 12/20/04 | 3/26/05 | 6/30/05 | 10/4/05 | 1/8/06 | 4/14/06 | 7/19/06 | 10/23/06 | 1/27/07 | 5/3/07 | 8/7/07 | 11/11/07 | 2/15/08 |
| April 1 (e) | 9/23/04 | 12/28/04 | 4/3/05 | 7/8/05 | 10/12/05 | 1/16/06 | 4/22/06 | 7/27/06 | 10/31/06 | 2/4/07 | 5/11/07 | 8/15/07 | 11/19/07 | 2/23/08 |
| Martinus 1 (o) | 10/1/04 | 1/5/05 | 4/11/05 | 7/16/05 | 10/20/05 | 1/24/06 | 4/30/06 | 8/4/06 | 11/8/06 | 2/12/07 | 5/19/07 | 8/23/07 | 11/27/07 | 3/2/08 |
| Bill 1 (e) | 10/9/04 | 1/13/05 | 4/19/05 | 7/24/05 | 10/28/05 | 2/1/06 | 5/8/06 | 8/12/06 | 11/16/06 | 2/20/07 | 5/27/07 | 8/31/07 | 12/5/07 | 3/10/08 |
| Bor 1 (o) | 10/17/04 | 1/21/05 | 4/27/05 | 8/1/05 | 11/5/05 | 2/9/06 | 5/16/06 | 8/20/06 | 11/24/06 | 2/28/07 | 6/4/07 | 9/8/07 | 12/13/07 | 3/18/08 |
| Petember 1 (e) | 10/25/04 | 1/29/05 | 5/5/05 | 8/9/05 | 11/13/05 | 2/17/06 | 5/24/06 | 8/28/06 | 12/2/06 | 3/8/07 | 6/12/07 | 9/16/07 | 12/21/07 | 3/26/08 |
| Carlvember 1 (o) | 11/2/04 | 2/6/05 | 5/13/05 | 8/17/05 | 11/21/05 | 2/25/06 | 6/1/06 | 9/5/06 | 12/10/06 | 3/16/07 | 6/20/07 | 9/24/07 | 12/29/07 | 4/3/08 |
| Porktober 1 (e) | 11/10/04 | 2/14/05 | 5/21/05 | 8/25/05 | 11/29/05 | 3/5/06 | 6/9/06 | 9/13/06 | 12/18/06 | 3/24/07 | 6/28/07 | 10/2/07 | 1/6/08 | 4/11/08 |
| Boozember 1 (o) | 11/18/04 | 2/22/05 | 5/29/05 | 9/2/05 | 12/7/05 | 3/13/06 | 6/17/06 | 9/21/06 | 12/26/06 | 4/1/07 | 7/6/07 | 10/10/07 | 1/14/08 | 4/19/08 |
| Dougtember 1 (e) | 11/26/04 | 3/2/05 | 6/6/05 | 9/10/05 | 12/15/05 | 3/21/06 | 6/25/06 | 9/29/06 | 1/3/07 | 4/9/07 | 7/14/07 | 10/18/07 | 1/22/08 | 4/27/08 |
| Holidays |
| Festival of Jarlsberg (Jarlsuary 1) | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | 10/26/07 | 1/30/08 |
| Valentine's Day (Frankruary 4) | -- | -- | 2/14/05* | 6/25/05 | 9/29/05 | 1/3/06 | 4/9/06 | 7/14/06 | 10/18/06 | 1/22/07 | 4/28/07 | 8/2/07 | 11/6/07 | 2/10/08 |
| St. Sneaky Pete (Starch 3) | -- | -- | 3/17/05* | 6/21/05* | 10/6/05 | 1/10/06 | 4/16/06 | 7/21/06 | 10/25/06 | 1/29/07 | 5/5/07 | 8/9/07 | 11/13/07 | 2/17/08 |
| Oyster Day (April 2) | -- | -- | 3/27/05* | 7/9/05 | 10/13/05 | 1/17/06 | 4/23/06 | 7/28/06 | 11/1/06 | 2/5/07 | 5/12/07 | 8/16/07 | 11/20/07 | 2/24/08 |
| El Dia De Los Muertos Borrachos (Martinus 2) | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | 11/28/07 | 3/3/08 |
| Dependence Day (Bor 4) | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | 6/7/07 | 9/11/07 | 12/16/07 | 3/21/08 |
| Halloween (Porktober 8) | 11/17/04 | 2/21/05 | 5/28/05 | 9/1/05 | 12/6/05 | 3/12/06 | 6/16/06 | 9/20/06 | 12/25/06 | 3/31/07 | 7/5/07 | 10/9/07 | 1/13/08 | 4/18/08 |
| Feast of Boris (Boozember 7) | 12/1/04* | 2/28/05 | 6/4/05 | 9/8/05 | 12/13/05 | 3/19/06 | 6/23/06 | 9/27/06 | 1/1/07 | 4/7/07 | 7/12/07 | 10/16/07 | 1/20/08 | 4/25/08 |
Notes:
- In the clan calendar, "Febtober" is occasionally displayed instead of "Porktober".
- The first Oyster Day coincided with the real Easter 2005, but Jick gave it a slightly different permanent position on the KoL calendar. (The first Oyster Day was Starch 2 on the KoL calendar, but its permanent position is apparently April 2.)
- The first St. Sneaky Pete's Day was 3/17/05, the real St. Patrick's Day, and the second was on the same day on the KoL calendar (Jarlsuary 8). However, the permanent home of the holiday is Starch 3.
- Like other KoL holidays, Valentine's Day began on its real-life equivalent in 2005 (on the first Valentine's Day, the Valentines were sold at the Demon Market). However, it eventually got a permanent home in the KoL calendar.
- Though Jick announced that the Feast of Boris would normally be on Boozember 7, its first appearance (due to real-life complications from Jick's real-life Thanksgiving) was postponed from 11/24/04 (where it would have fallen on Boozember 7) to 12/1/04.
- SISC = Since I Started Counting